This essay was originally written for the Sacramento News and Review
It’s an odd thing being a priest. It’s pretty much a cocktail-party-conversation killer.
“So what do you do?”
“Well, I’m an Episcopal priest.”
Long pause. Then the inevitable, “I used to go to church but . . .”
I think that’s so strange. When I’m introduced to a dentist, I don’t have the urge to confess my poor flossing habits.
Besides, I think there are great reasons for not going to church. Most notably, many Christians have done such a poor job representing Jesus. Jesus’ life and teachings were intended to give us life, to connect us with God, one another and our true selves, to free us from fear, free us from judging one another and free us from oppressive social structures (including religious structures.) One could argue that Jesus came to do away with religion, insofar as religions are organizations that treat God’s love as a commodity that is controlled by the religion.
On the other hand, “religions” are necessary for two reasons. First, spirituality needs community. We need to explore our beliefs with other people. Unless one has reached enlightenment, one needs the wisdom of others. We also need others with whom to strive for justice and peace, and others to love. In church, I’m required to love a wide variety of people, some of whom drive me crazy. It’s like spiritual boot camp.
Second, humanity needs the teachings of the great spiritual traditions to be passed on. We need communities of people to record these teachings and to teach them to later generations. The Bible, the Koran, the Buddhist Sutras are religious texts. We would not know about Mohammed, Jesus or the Buddha if it wasn’t for religions.
Religions are simply communities of spiritual people who want to journey and serve together.
Yes, some religious groups are homogeneous clubs who believe they have a corner on Truth or God’s love. And yes, I think people are wise to not be “religious” in that sense.
But beware of limiting your spiritual options because of these bad examples of spiritual community.
I believe people are hungry for authentic community. People are hungry for a way to encounter
God and deepen their spiritual lives. And people are hungry for a way to make a difference in the world. I know there are many different ways to feed these hungers. For me, these deep spiritual hungers are fed by being a part of a spiritual community that has Jesus as its guide. Trinity Cathedral is a welcoming community where people are passionate about their spiritual lives and serving others. If you are interested in encountering the teachings of Jesus in such a community, please join us. If you want more information, email me. I would love to hear from you. Or if you have a different path, I would enjoy hearing about it. Blessings!
Between December 6th and 9th, Tibetan Buddhist monks will be at Trinity Cathedral to create a sand mandala of the medicine (healing) Buddha. The Cathedral will be open to see the work in progress on Thursday and Friday from noon to 8 p.m. and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. The monks will do a medicine Buddha healing ceremony Saturday night at 7 p.m. The monks will participate in our Sunday morning services at 9:00 and 11:15. The Dissolution Ceremony will be Sunday at 1 p.m. where the sand will be swept into a big pile and then placed in little bags that will be available for people to take.
Monday, November 12, 2007
on prayer
This essay was originally written for the Sacramento News and Review
I first learned to pray when I was 11 years old. My nonreligious, Air Force colonel father came home one day and declared that the family needed to learn to meditate. The six of us piled into the family car and drove to the Transcendental Meditation center in nearby Amherst, Massachusetts. (This was in the early 70’s.) Each member of the family received private instruction and was given a mantra. For the following two years, meditation was part of our family routine. Before dinner Mom would remind us, “Have you meditated yet?” If we hadn’t, we would trot down to the basement and sit in silence for the prescribed 20 minutes.
While the practice didn’t last longer than the two years we lived in Massachusetts, it did open a quiet place in my soul. Years later, when I entered seminary to become an Episcopal priest, I became very grateful for the gift of meditation. Seminary was hard for me. My undergraduate work at West Point focused on engineering mechanics and computer science. I then spent 5 years in the left-brained world of the Army. In seminary I was completely out of my element. My classmates had all majored in philosophy and religion. I remember trying to read a theology text and having to look up every third word in a dictionary.
Then one day, at noonday prayers, I came across this prayer: O God, you will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are fixed on you; for in returning and rest we shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be our strength. (Isaiah 26.3 30.15) I wrote the words on a post-it and stuck it on my mirror. I returned to my practice of sitting in silence. I regained my center as I listened to the still, small voice of God.
While I have never been consistent in my spiritual disciplines, prayer has been an important part of my spiritual life. Prayer for me is much more than sharing my concerns with God. Prayer is a way of shaping the way I see the world—of being open to the way God sees the world. In addition to silent prayer, one of my favorite ways of praying is to recite words written by other, more spiritually mature people. In the Episcopal Church, much of our worship consists of reciting, as a community, beautiful enlightening prayers.
One of my favorite prayers comes from a nighttime service. Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen.
I have this prayer memorized and recite it as I am going to sleep. It helps me realize my deep connection with those who “work, or watch, or weep this night.” Prayer invites me into a world that is bigger and more whole than my day-to-day existence.
I’m sure I thought my father was crazy back in 1973. But he introduced me to a priceless gift. Let us pray.
I first learned to pray when I was 11 years old. My nonreligious, Air Force colonel father came home one day and declared that the family needed to learn to meditate. The six of us piled into the family car and drove to the Transcendental Meditation center in nearby Amherst, Massachusetts. (This was in the early 70’s.) Each member of the family received private instruction and was given a mantra. For the following two years, meditation was part of our family routine. Before dinner Mom would remind us, “Have you meditated yet?” If we hadn’t, we would trot down to the basement and sit in silence for the prescribed 20 minutes.
While the practice didn’t last longer than the two years we lived in Massachusetts, it did open a quiet place in my soul. Years later, when I entered seminary to become an Episcopal priest, I became very grateful for the gift of meditation. Seminary was hard for me. My undergraduate work at West Point focused on engineering mechanics and computer science. I then spent 5 years in the left-brained world of the Army. In seminary I was completely out of my element. My classmates had all majored in philosophy and religion. I remember trying to read a theology text and having to look up every third word in a dictionary.
Then one day, at noonday prayers, I came across this prayer: O God, you will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are fixed on you; for in returning and rest we shall be saved; in quietness and trust shall be our strength. (Isaiah 26.3 30.15) I wrote the words on a post-it and stuck it on my mirror. I returned to my practice of sitting in silence. I regained my center as I listened to the still, small voice of God.
While I have never been consistent in my spiritual disciplines, prayer has been an important part of my spiritual life. Prayer for me is much more than sharing my concerns with God. Prayer is a way of shaping the way I see the world—of being open to the way God sees the world. In addition to silent prayer, one of my favorite ways of praying is to recite words written by other, more spiritually mature people. In the Episcopal Church, much of our worship consists of reciting, as a community, beautiful enlightening prayers.
One of my favorite prayers comes from a nighttime service. Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen.
I have this prayer memorized and recite it as I am going to sleep. It helps me realize my deep connection with those who “work, or watch, or weep this night.” Prayer invites me into a world that is bigger and more whole than my day-to-day existence.
I’m sure I thought my father was crazy back in 1973. But he introduced me to a priceless gift. Let us pray.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
for all the saints
All Saints 2007
One of the great joys and benefits of observing the holidays of the days of the dead is our gratefulness for our connection with them through the communion of saints, which is for the glory of God. We anticipate All Saints Day on All Hallows Eve – the eve of All Saints – and continue our worship November 1st in the feast of All Souls, or All Faithful Departed – a memorial day for remembering those who have gone before us in obtaining “those ineffable joys” spoken of in the Collect. I like to say, “It is always tea-time somewhere in the Anglican Communion” – that our bonds of affection and common heritage include this enjoyment, and that somewhere in the world someone is praying for me as I pray for you and for them.
And yet this fellowship extends beyond space into time – the saints of ages past share our hope for things to come. And we share in their hope, in their love, through our fellowship with Christ, in Christ, memorialized and brought to present life in the sacraments – the body and blood of Christ – the head of whose body we make up the members – and through and with him be all honor and glory to God, including that fellowship which is his joy – the church which is his body – the fullness (fulfillment) – of him who fills all in all.
This all boils down however to some practical behavior, most succinctly and most famously stated in the Golden Rule, the last sentence of today’s gospel reading: Do as you would be done by.
Imagine yourself a buckaroo from Paradise – that is, a cowboy from the Paradise Valley in Nevada. You raise mules. You have a day job: construction work on the interstate, building bypasses around Elko, Battle Mountain, and Winnemucca. You are on the way to work – you have about 80 miles to go. It is Sunday, late afternoon, the sun is setting slowly over the sage, and you are headed up a mountain pass about 8 miles west of Carlin.
On the side of the road, hood up, is an old car – a 1964 Pontiac Tempest. You stop. The young people inside think they have a mechanical problem. You have a simpler explanation and with a siphon hose prove it. “Yep, bone dry.” They are out of gas.
You drive them back to Carlin, make sure they get some gas, follow them to the next town, Battle Mountain, to make sure they are okay. As you leave, you give your parting benediction: “Make sure to stop and gas her up once in a while.”
To them you are an angel – a messenger of God – or someone who has followed the Golden Rule. Who wouldn’t want to be treated the way you have just treated them?
I was not the cowboy. But I was there. And I am sure glad he stopped.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
It sounds so simple – and sometimes it is.
In practice this is carried out in as many ways as the engineer’s dictum Murphy’s Law – if it can go wrong it will – is manifested in the real world. As there are many examples and applications of Murphy’s Law, so there are many of the Golden Rule.
Here is one example. For pastors and their congregations, there are issues of communication, straightforwardness and honor of each other, which come into play.
When I spoke to Greg Rickel, bishop of Olympia, four weeks ago, I asked him if I could use the 10 Rules for Respect in communication he'd introduced at his parish as rector - and he readily gave his permission.
Before I share them with you, though, a disclosure – in the form of a story.
Donald Nicholl, the English Catholic layman who taught me so much at UCSC, loved to tell the story of Gandhi and the little girl. Her mother brought her to the great man complaining of her addiction to sweet foods, and asking Gandhi to do something about it. Gandhi told her to come back in two weeks.
When she did, he took the little girl aside and in a few simple words told her how to break the habit. The mother asked, why did you not tell her this two weeks ago? Because, madam, two weeks ago I was still addicted to sweet foods myself!
In other words practicing the Golden Rule takes – practice!
So with some trepidation... here are the 10 Rules for Respect in communication between a congregation and its pastor:
10 Rules for Respect
1. If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
2. If I have a problem with you, I will come to you (privately).
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say to them, “Let’s go to him together. I am sure he will see us about this.” (I will do the same for you.)
5. Be careful how you interpret me – I’d rather do that. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. This especially applies to Vestry meetings. If you or anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell unless a) the person is going to harm himself/herself, b) the person is going to physically harm someone else, c) a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated; do not let others *manipulate you. Do not let others manipulate me through you. I will not preach “at” you on Sunday mornings. I will leave conviction to the Holy Spirit. (She does it better anyway!)
10. When in doubt, just say it. The only dumb questions are those that don’t get asked. We are a family here and we care about each other, so if you have a concern, pray, and then (if led) speak up. If I can answer it without misrepresenting something, someone, or breaking a confidence, I will.
*******
This is one example of how we are to put into effect the golden rule, not only to refrain from doing to others what we would not want others to do to us, but positively to treat others as we want to be treated ourselves.
The gospel lesson contains some paradoxical sayings. Jesus seems to be turning worldly wisdom on its head – give to whoever asks of you, invite beggars to your banquets, go the extra mile – and in some ways I think he is suggesting this as a revolutionary, non-violent protest action. The people of Palestine were, after all, deeply oppressed, and violent protest would lead, as it did, to disaster and destruction. What Israel held most precious, the Temple in Jerusalem, was torn down stone by stone.
Our own pretences of worldly wisdom, canniness and morality, are confounded by Jesus’ sayings – and by the reality of the in-breaking kingdom of God. Jesus is not after all selling us a bill of goods, pie in the sky, nor is he trying to get us killed – though living his way can lead to the cross. What he is doing is trying to get us to live into the kingdom, to begin to conduct ourselves as citizens of the city of God.
It looks topsy-turvy, through the eyes of the world. With the eyes of the heart opened, it is a glimpse of paradise.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Bishop Gregory Rickel’s biography and answers to search committee essay questions, Diocese of Olympia (http://www.ecww.org/inthenews/rickel.pdf)
Donald Nicholl, Holiness (Seabury, 1981)
C All Saints RCL
The Lessons Appointed for Use on All Saints' Day - Year C - RCL
Daniel 7:1-3,15-18
Psalm 149
Ephesians 1:11-23
Luke 6:20-31
The Collect
Almighty God, you have knit together your elect in one communion and fellowship in the mystical body of your Son Christ our Lord: Give us grace so to follow your blessed saints in all virtuous and godly living, that we may come to those ineffable joys that you have prepared for those who truly love you; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
One of the great joys and benefits of observing the holidays of the days of the dead is our gratefulness for our connection with them through the communion of saints, which is for the glory of God. We anticipate All Saints Day on All Hallows Eve – the eve of All Saints – and continue our worship November 1st in the feast of All Souls, or All Faithful Departed – a memorial day for remembering those who have gone before us in obtaining “those ineffable joys” spoken of in the Collect. I like to say, “It is always tea-time somewhere in the Anglican Communion” – that our bonds of affection and common heritage include this enjoyment, and that somewhere in the world someone is praying for me as I pray for you and for them.
And yet this fellowship extends beyond space into time – the saints of ages past share our hope for things to come. And we share in their hope, in their love, through our fellowship with Christ, in Christ, memorialized and brought to present life in the sacraments – the body and blood of Christ – the head of whose body we make up the members – and through and with him be all honor and glory to God, including that fellowship which is his joy – the church which is his body – the fullness (fulfillment) – of him who fills all in all.
This all boils down however to some practical behavior, most succinctly and most famously stated in the Golden Rule, the last sentence of today’s gospel reading: Do as you would be done by.
Imagine yourself a buckaroo from Paradise – that is, a cowboy from the Paradise Valley in Nevada. You raise mules. You have a day job: construction work on the interstate, building bypasses around Elko, Battle Mountain, and Winnemucca. You are on the way to work – you have about 80 miles to go. It is Sunday, late afternoon, the sun is setting slowly over the sage, and you are headed up a mountain pass about 8 miles west of Carlin.
On the side of the road, hood up, is an old car – a 1964 Pontiac Tempest. You stop. The young people inside think they have a mechanical problem. You have a simpler explanation and with a siphon hose prove it. “Yep, bone dry.” They are out of gas.
You drive them back to Carlin, make sure they get some gas, follow them to the next town, Battle Mountain, to make sure they are okay. As you leave, you give your parting benediction: “Make sure to stop and gas her up once in a while.”
To them you are an angel – a messenger of God – or someone who has followed the Golden Rule. Who wouldn’t want to be treated the way you have just treated them?
I was not the cowboy. But I was there. And I am sure glad he stopped.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
It sounds so simple – and sometimes it is.
In practice this is carried out in as many ways as the engineer’s dictum Murphy’s Law – if it can go wrong it will – is manifested in the real world. As there are many examples and applications of Murphy’s Law, so there are many of the Golden Rule.
Here is one example. For pastors and their congregations, there are issues of communication, straightforwardness and honor of each other, which come into play.
When I spoke to Greg Rickel, bishop of Olympia, four weeks ago, I asked him if I could use the 10 Rules for Respect in communication he'd introduced at his parish as rector - and he readily gave his permission.
Before I share them with you, though, a disclosure – in the form of a story.
Donald Nicholl, the English Catholic layman who taught me so much at UCSC, loved to tell the story of Gandhi and the little girl. Her mother brought her to the great man complaining of her addiction to sweet foods, and asking Gandhi to do something about it. Gandhi told her to come back in two weeks.
When she did, he took the little girl aside and in a few simple words told her how to break the habit. The mother asked, why did you not tell her this two weeks ago? Because, madam, two weeks ago I was still addicted to sweet foods myself!
In other words practicing the Golden Rule takes – practice!
So with some trepidation... here are the 10 Rules for Respect in communication between a congregation and its pastor:
10 Rules for Respect
1. If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
2. If I have a problem with you, I will come to you (privately).
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say to them, “Let’s go to him together. I am sure he will see us about this.” (I will do the same for you.)
5. Be careful how you interpret me – I’d rather do that. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. This especially applies to Vestry meetings. If you or anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell unless a) the person is going to harm himself/herself, b) the person is going to physically harm someone else, c) a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated; do not let others *manipulate you. Do not let others manipulate me through you. I will not preach “at” you on Sunday mornings. I will leave conviction to the Holy Spirit. (She does it better anyway!)
10. When in doubt, just say it. The only dumb questions are those that don’t get asked. We are a family here and we care about each other, so if you have a concern, pray, and then (if led) speak up. If I can answer it without misrepresenting something, someone, or breaking a confidence, I will.
*******
This is one example of how we are to put into effect the golden rule, not only to refrain from doing to others what we would not want others to do to us, but positively to treat others as we want to be treated ourselves.
The gospel lesson contains some paradoxical sayings. Jesus seems to be turning worldly wisdom on its head – give to whoever asks of you, invite beggars to your banquets, go the extra mile – and in some ways I think he is suggesting this as a revolutionary, non-violent protest action. The people of Palestine were, after all, deeply oppressed, and violent protest would lead, as it did, to disaster and destruction. What Israel held most precious, the Temple in Jerusalem, was torn down stone by stone.
Our own pretences of worldly wisdom, canniness and morality, are confounded by Jesus’ sayings – and by the reality of the in-breaking kingdom of God. Jesus is not after all selling us a bill of goods, pie in the sky, nor is he trying to get us killed – though living his way can lead to the cross. What he is doing is trying to get us to live into the kingdom, to begin to conduct ourselves as citizens of the city of God.
It looks topsy-turvy, through the eyes of the world. With the eyes of the heart opened, it is a glimpse of paradise.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Bishop Gregory Rickel’s biography and answers to search committee essay questions, Diocese of Olympia (http://www.ecww.org/inthenews/rickel.pdf)
Donald Nicholl, Holiness (Seabury, 1981)
C All Saints RCL
The Lessons Appointed for Use on All Saints' Day - Year C - RCL
Daniel 7:1-3,15-18
Psalm 149
Ephesians 1:11-23
Luke 6:20-31
The Collect
Almighty God, you have knit together your elect in one communion and fellowship in the mystical body of your Son Christ our Lord: Give us grace so to follow your blessed saints in all virtuous and godly living, that we may come to those ineffable joys that you have prepared for those who truly love you; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.
communication
When I spoke to Greg Rickels, bishop of Olympia,
four weeks ago, I asked him if I could use the
10 Rules for Respect in communication he'd
introduced at his parish as rector - and he
readily gave his permission.
Donald Nicholl, the English Catholic layman who
taught me so much at UCSC, loved to tell the
story of Gandhi and the little girl. Her mother
brought her to the great man complaining of her
addiction to sweet foods, and asking Gandhi to do
something about it. Gandhi told her to come back
in two weeks. When she did, he took the little
girl aside and in a few simple words told her how
to break the habit. The mother asked, why did you
not tell her this two weeks ago? Because, madam,
two weeks ago I was still addicted to sweet
foods myself!
So with some trepidation... the 10 Rules for
Respect in communication between a congregation
and its pastor:
10 Rules for Respect
1. If you have a problem with me, come to me
(privately).
2. If I have a problem with you, I will come to
you (privately).
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to
you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
4. If someone consistently will not come to me,
say to them, “Let’s go to him together. I am sure
he will see us about this.” (I will do the same
for you.)
5. Be careful how you interpret me – I’d rather
do that. On matters that are unclear, do not feel
pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts.
It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. This
especially applies to Vestry meetings. If you or
anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell
unless a) the person is going to harm
himself/herself, b) the person is going to
physically harm someone else, c) a child has been
physically or sexually abused. I expect the same
from you.
8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9. I do not manipulate; I will not be
manipulated; do not let others manipulate you. Do
not let others manipulate me through you. I will
not preach “at” you on Sunday mornings. I will
leave conviction to the Holy Spirit. (She does it
better anyway!)
10. When in doubt, just say it. The only dumb
questions are those that don’t get asked. We are
a family here and we care about each other, so if
you have a concern, pray, and then (if led) speak
up. If I can answer it without misrepresenting
something, someone, or breaking a confidence, I
will.
Adapted from Bishop Gregory Rickel’s biography
and answers to search committee essay questions
Diocese of Olympia
(http://www.ecww.org/inthenews/rickel.pdf)
Donald Nicholl, Holiness (Seabury, 1981)
four weeks ago, I asked him if I could use the
10 Rules for Respect in communication he'd
introduced at his parish as rector - and he
readily gave his permission.
Donald Nicholl, the English Catholic layman who
taught me so much at UCSC, loved to tell the
story of Gandhi and the little girl. Her mother
brought her to the great man complaining of her
addiction to sweet foods, and asking Gandhi to do
something about it. Gandhi told her to come back
in two weeks. When she did, he took the little
girl aside and in a few simple words told her how
to break the habit. The mother asked, why did you
not tell her this two weeks ago? Because, madam,
two weeks ago I was still addicted to sweet
foods myself!
So with some trepidation... the 10 Rules for
Respect in communication between a congregation
and its pastor:
10 Rules for Respect
1. If you have a problem with me, come to me
(privately).
2. If I have a problem with you, I will come to
you (privately).
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to
you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
4. If someone consistently will not come to me,
say to them, “Let’s go to him together. I am sure
he will see us about this.” (I will do the same
for you.)
5. Be careful how you interpret me – I’d rather
do that. On matters that are unclear, do not feel
pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts.
It is easy to misinterpret intentions.
6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. This
especially applies to Vestry meetings. If you or
anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell
unless a) the person is going to harm
himself/herself, b) the person is going to
physically harm someone else, c) a child has been
physically or sexually abused. I expect the same
from you.
8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9. I do not manipulate; I will not be
manipulated; do not let others manipulate you. Do
not let others manipulate me through you. I will
not preach “at” you on Sunday mornings. I will
leave conviction to the Holy Spirit. (She does it
better anyway!)
10. When in doubt, just say it. The only dumb
questions are those that don’t get asked. We are
a family here and we care about each other, so if
you have a concern, pray, and then (if led) speak
up. If I can answer it without misrepresenting
something, someone, or breaking a confidence, I
will.
Adapted from Bishop Gregory Rickel’s biography
and answers to search committee essay questions
Diocese of Olympia
(http://www.ecww.org/inthenews/rickel.pdf)
Donald Nicholl, Holiness (Seabury, 1981)
Monday, October 15, 2007
How are you?
Each week the same thing happens to me. I am greeted by Charles or Thomas, two of the custodians who work at Trinity Cathedral, "How are you today Dean?" I respond, "I'm fine Charles (or Thomas). How are you?" "Blessed, Dean Baker, I'm blessed!" And I think to myself, "Why did I settle for fine?"
Why be fine, when I could be blessed? I woke up this morning. Today didn't have to happen for me. But it did. I get to breathe air, eat food. I have people in my life who love me, whom I get to love. And I'm just fine? No, I am Blessed!!!
One of the problems for me is I take the many blessings in my life for granted. The gift of life and the gift of people to love simply become normal. They are the status quo; I no longer notice them.
What I do notice is what I don't have. I don't have a digital SLR camera. I don't have a motorcycle. I know my life would be so much better if only I had these things.
I also notice what I have that I might lose. I bought my house 1 ½ years ago. I'm sure it has lost value. My financial security feels like it is slipping away. And of course, so will my health - if not now, then eventually. It's hard to feel fine, let alone blessed, when life is so precarious.
I get to choose, of course, whether I want to look at my life through the lens of scarcity or abundance. I get to choose to be fine or blessed. But it is difficult in our culture to live in abundance. So many of the messages we receive tell us we either need to buy something new for fulfillment or we need to worry about our health or prosperity slipping away.
I find two spiritual practices helpful in realizing that I am blessed. First is the simple act of gratitude. I am reminded of this whenever Thomas tells me he is blessed. He often adds, "I got out of bed this morning." He reminds me it could have been otherwise. I too got out of bed. I was given the gift of this day. This little nudge from Thomas helps me remember that I'm blessed in many other ways as well. I thank God for this remarkable gift of life.
The other spiritual practice that helps me realize I'm blessed is generosity. For some mystical reason, giving things away, things that I care about, gives me life. It is strange, because our culture tells us we need more to be happy. But living as if my life was abundant, and sharing this abundance with others somehow makes my life more abundant. In being generous, I become more alive. And the voice in my head that tells me I can't be happy unless I have more, is weakened. My blessings increase.
I don't want to be fine anymore. I want to be BLESSED! I'm going to start by changing my response when greeted by others. So if you see me around town, please ask, "How are you?"
Why be fine, when I could be blessed? I woke up this morning. Today didn't have to happen for me. But it did. I get to breathe air, eat food. I have people in my life who love me, whom I get to love. And I'm just fine? No, I am Blessed!!!
One of the problems for me is I take the many blessings in my life for granted. The gift of life and the gift of people to love simply become normal. They are the status quo; I no longer notice them.
What I do notice is what I don't have. I don't have a digital SLR camera. I don't have a motorcycle. I know my life would be so much better if only I had these things.
I also notice what I have that I might lose. I bought my house 1 ½ years ago. I'm sure it has lost value. My financial security feels like it is slipping away. And of course, so will my health - if not now, then eventually. It's hard to feel fine, let alone blessed, when life is so precarious.
I get to choose, of course, whether I want to look at my life through the lens of scarcity or abundance. I get to choose to be fine or blessed. But it is difficult in our culture to live in abundance. So many of the messages we receive tell us we either need to buy something new for fulfillment or we need to worry about our health or prosperity slipping away.
I find two spiritual practices helpful in realizing that I am blessed. First is the simple act of gratitude. I am reminded of this whenever Thomas tells me he is blessed. He often adds, "I got out of bed this morning." He reminds me it could have been otherwise. I too got out of bed. I was given the gift of this day. This little nudge from Thomas helps me remember that I'm blessed in many other ways as well. I thank God for this remarkable gift of life.
The other spiritual practice that helps me realize I'm blessed is generosity. For some mystical reason, giving things away, things that I care about, gives me life. It is strange, because our culture tells us we need more to be happy. But living as if my life was abundant, and sharing this abundance with others somehow makes my life more abundant. In being generous, I become more alive. And the voice in my head that tells me I can't be happy unless I have more, is weakened. My blessings increase.
I don't want to be fine anymore. I want to be BLESSED! I'm going to start by changing my response when greeted by others. So if you see me around town, please ask, "How are you?"
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Premarital Sex
“What is your position on premarital sex?” It isn’t like this is a completely unusual question for a priest to be asked. However, this was someone I had never met and who had never been to my church. And this question was our first exchange of words. I had just been introduced to this young woman, and the first thing she said to me was, “What is your position on premarital sex?” What a delightful way to begin a relationship. Actually I was thrilled. I’d much rather wrestle with an important issue than make small talk. And I like a challenge.
What was she expecting me to say? That premarital sex is wrong; that one should wait until marriage. Or that it is fine between consenting adults? I rarely find single sentence answers are adequate for ethical questions. After a long pause, here’s what I said:
The purpose of the spiritual life is to become more alive. (St. Irenaeus in the 2nd century said, “The glory of God is the human person fully alive.”) I try to judge courses of action by whether they will bring me more alive or deaden me. Not by whether they will be fun or easy, but will they bring me more alive. Of course the “me” that needs to become more alive is not my ego or “false self”, but my interior, spiritual self. Will a given course of action bring my true self more alive?
Our sexuality is a lovely gift from God. And sexual intercourse can move us out of ourselves and unite us to another person in a way that is spectacularly beautiful. I can imagine situations in which two people love one another, and are committed to one another to such an extent that sex would bring each of them more alive as it draws them closer together. The couple would not need to be married for this to be true. I can also imagine instances when sex between two people is not life-giving—times when it is cheap, or hurtful or vacuous—times when the sacredness of the act is not sustained by a relationship of mutual love. This deadening sexual act could happen within marriage as well as outside of marriage. Marriage does not guarantee that sexuality always be life giving. But it helps. The commitment to remain together, to love one another during happy and difficult times, or even when the “feeling” of love is gone, that commitment helps create a safe space for sexuality to be freely and safely expressed.
Our sexuality is a precious gift from God. And sex, outside of marriage as well as within marriage, needs to be engaged in lovingly, respectfully and reverently.
My new friend seemed satisfied with my answer. There was much more I could have said about the topic. Like how complicated sexual relationships can get in our materialistic culture where individuality and self-fulfillment trump authentic relationship and the value of self-sacrifice. Perhaps that can be covered in our second conversation.
Blessings,
Brian Baker
What was she expecting me to say? That premarital sex is wrong; that one should wait until marriage. Or that it is fine between consenting adults? I rarely find single sentence answers are adequate for ethical questions. After a long pause, here’s what I said:
The purpose of the spiritual life is to become more alive. (St. Irenaeus in the 2nd century said, “The glory of God is the human person fully alive.”) I try to judge courses of action by whether they will bring me more alive or deaden me. Not by whether they will be fun or easy, but will they bring me more alive. Of course the “me” that needs to become more alive is not my ego or “false self”, but my interior, spiritual self. Will a given course of action bring my true self more alive?
Our sexuality is a lovely gift from God. And sexual intercourse can move us out of ourselves and unite us to another person in a way that is spectacularly beautiful. I can imagine situations in which two people love one another, and are committed to one another to such an extent that sex would bring each of them more alive as it draws them closer together. The couple would not need to be married for this to be true. I can also imagine instances when sex between two people is not life-giving—times when it is cheap, or hurtful or vacuous—times when the sacredness of the act is not sustained by a relationship of mutual love. This deadening sexual act could happen within marriage as well as outside of marriage. Marriage does not guarantee that sexuality always be life giving. But it helps. The commitment to remain together, to love one another during happy and difficult times, or even when the “feeling” of love is gone, that commitment helps create a safe space for sexuality to be freely and safely expressed.
Our sexuality is a precious gift from God. And sex, outside of marriage as well as within marriage, needs to be engaged in lovingly, respectfully and reverently.
My new friend seemed satisfied with my answer. There was much more I could have said about the topic. Like how complicated sexual relationships can get in our materialistic culture where individuality and self-fulfillment trump authentic relationship and the value of self-sacrifice. Perhaps that can be covered in our second conversation.
Blessings,
Brian Baker
Same Sex Marriage
This essay was written for the Sacramento News and Review
Marriage is . . . something more than a civil contract subject to regulation by the state; it is a fundamental right of free men...legislation infringing such rights must be based upon more than prejudice and must be free from oppressive discrimination to comply with the constitutional requirements of due process and equal protection of the laws. – California Supreme Court in a 1948 decision that invalidated laws barring interracial marriage.
If, as the State Supreme Court states, the right to marry the person of one’s choice is a fundamental civil right, on what basis would we deny this right to same-sex couples? Because it is a new idea? Because the concept makes some people uncomfortable? Because it seems to go against the way we thought God has designed the world? These were all arguments used to justify laws against interracial marriage. Fortunately the State Supreme Court saw this prejudice for what it was and led the nation in invalidating laws that barred such marriages.
Now, it seems, history has a chance to repeat itself. The State Supreme Court may be on the verge of invalidating laws that bar same-sex marriages. Not everyone is pleased with this development. I have heard three arguments against same-sex marriage.
First, marriage has traditionally been limited to opposite sex couples. But tradition is poor justification for denying people civil rights. In our past, slavery was our tradition. Same-race marriage was our tradition. Fortunately we have moved beyond these traditions and broadened access to civil rights.
Second, some believe there is a strong religious consensus against same-sex marriage. Even if the Court was to consider religious arguments, which it shouldn’t, there is no religious consensus. I am an Episcopal priest in a congregation that welcomes with open arms people who are gay and lesbian. I believe that anybody willing to commit himself or herself in love to another deserves our support, our respect and our admiration. I believe the state should honor same-sex couples the same way it honors opposite-sex couples. And I am not alone. Over 400 religious leaders in California joined me in signing an amicus brief that stated our support for same-sex marriage.
Third, some argue that same-sex marriage threatens heterosexual marriages and families. How silly. My marriage is not weakened when a gay or lesbian people choose to pledge themselves to one another. It is foolish, as a society, for us to deny marriage to any group of people. Marriage, with its commitment to fidelity and stability, helps society. When two people want to pledge themselves in faithfulness to one another we should celebrate this commitment and honor them with the legal rights and responsibilities of marriage. It shouldn’t matter if the couples are opposite-sex or same-sex. The marriages of same-sex couples will strengthen marriage as a whole, strengthen families and strengthen our society.
60 years ago California led the nation in ending prejudice and allowing interracial couples to marry. We now have the opportunity to bring this same justice to same-sex couples.
Marriage is . . . something more than a civil contract subject to regulation by the state; it is a fundamental right of free men...legislation infringing such rights must be based upon more than prejudice and must be free from oppressive discrimination to comply with the constitutional requirements of due process and equal protection of the laws. – California Supreme Court in a 1948 decision that invalidated laws barring interracial marriage.
If, as the State Supreme Court states, the right to marry the person of one’s choice is a fundamental civil right, on what basis would we deny this right to same-sex couples? Because it is a new idea? Because the concept makes some people uncomfortable? Because it seems to go against the way we thought God has designed the world? These were all arguments used to justify laws against interracial marriage. Fortunately the State Supreme Court saw this prejudice for what it was and led the nation in invalidating laws that barred such marriages.
Now, it seems, history has a chance to repeat itself. The State Supreme Court may be on the verge of invalidating laws that bar same-sex marriages. Not everyone is pleased with this development. I have heard three arguments against same-sex marriage.
First, marriage has traditionally been limited to opposite sex couples. But tradition is poor justification for denying people civil rights. In our past, slavery was our tradition. Same-race marriage was our tradition. Fortunately we have moved beyond these traditions and broadened access to civil rights.
Second, some believe there is a strong religious consensus against same-sex marriage. Even if the Court was to consider religious arguments, which it shouldn’t, there is no religious consensus. I am an Episcopal priest in a congregation that welcomes with open arms people who are gay and lesbian. I believe that anybody willing to commit himself or herself in love to another deserves our support, our respect and our admiration. I believe the state should honor same-sex couples the same way it honors opposite-sex couples. And I am not alone. Over 400 religious leaders in California joined me in signing an amicus brief that stated our support for same-sex marriage.
Third, some argue that same-sex marriage threatens heterosexual marriages and families. How silly. My marriage is not weakened when a gay or lesbian people choose to pledge themselves to one another. It is foolish, as a society, for us to deny marriage to any group of people. Marriage, with its commitment to fidelity and stability, helps society. When two people want to pledge themselves in faithfulness to one another we should celebrate this commitment and honor them with the legal rights and responsibilities of marriage. It shouldn’t matter if the couples are opposite-sex or same-sex. The marriages of same-sex couples will strengthen marriage as a whole, strengthen families and strengthen our society.
60 years ago California led the nation in ending prejudice and allowing interracial couples to marry. We now have the opportunity to bring this same justice to same-sex couples.
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